the moment you finally realize
that you deserve as much as you give
the patterns fall into shape
like puzzle pieces
forming connecting lines
above your head
I see tears and cuts and scrapes and scars
I see rivulets of blood
I see thousands of unanswered questions
nights lying awake in the dark
I see wishes wished, dreams dreamt
I see promises made in vain
I see the terror of being left alone
and the sacrifices made
I see a lonely little girl
who tells herself stories of fairy tales
and a woman who simply can’t understand
that dreams don’t always come true
I see a woman who crawled to the edge of her hell
and walked out on the other side
who can still so easily forget
what it is that keeps her alive
I see her blindly protecting
the heart of the little girl
the one that never stops wishing
to one day be wholly loved
today I remembered that half of nothing
leaves you nothing at all
and giving away the pieces of me
allows me to disappear
like a ghost I’ve hovered on the edges
of a story that may never be told
watching from the shadows
waiting to be written in
like a thief in the night I covet
what never belonged to me
with poison on my tongue
speaking other’s names
it’s better to live alone
than in the loneliness of a lie
I whisper the words to myself
that I deserve to be wholly loved
