Magic

my loneliness knows very little

beyond the depth and breadth of itself

it hears very little

beyond the softness of its gentle cries

there is something oddly beautiful

in its solitary existence

yet something savagely painful

that it has to exist at all

lately I’ve fallen to numbing

to drinking away everything

until all of the edges blur

and the pain ceases to exist

I’ve moved into the darkened corners

to the edges of what could barely be called life

I’ve slipped into oblivion

into a place where I no longer want

I don’t know where I belong

or even where I want to be

I go through endless days and weeks

through one mundane task to the next

and only in rare moments of something I can’t explain

do I glimpse anything resembling hope

recently I have witnessed a strange tenacity

affecting me on a daily basis

a will that refuses to give up

refuses to give in

there is something blissful in that strength

in that seemingly unerring belief

it is foreign to me

yet continues to catch my eye

it is a firefly, a spark

a strange little mystery

that I cannot explain

when I believe in nothing

when nothing brings me peace

from the darkness something shines

and in that I believe