Thursday, April 30, 2020

Of your mother...To a daughter




she loves you with an intensity

that she does not know how to express

she only wanted a life for you

that she never had for herself

she overprotected and she projected

all of her wants and needs

she did not know or understand

that she was mourning what she never had

she wanted you to shine so bright

the beauty of you makes her weak

she wanted to see you succeed

in ways that she never did

if you heard her tell the story of you

you’d be stunned at the depth of her words

or watched the tears as they roll down her face

as she judges her own mistakes

she watches you now from a distance

even when you are in the same room

wishing she knew how to bridge the gap

between where the two of you stand

there has been so much hurt, so much pain

and both of you know how it feels

to miss someone so much that is feels as if

part of you has been taken away

a mother, a daughter, love and hate

an intensity no one else understands

with soaring highs and searing lows

life rarely exists in between

in the breath of one single heartbeat

in the adult, mother still sees her child

and through the daughter’s eyes

mother will always remain in her role

what both of them wish and long for

will elude them until they can see

that they are both simply and perfectly

beautiful human beings




Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Stride ~ the idioms























~to hit one's stride~

each day with intent
forging a path to somewhere
preparing and plotting a course
then literally setting out on foot
stretch and warm the muscles
tighten the strings on my shoes
the lean slightly forward
and begin with the first step
the breeze against my face
and the rhythmic sound of my feet
is becoming a soundtrack of motion
the only thing accompanying me
as muscles start to burn
and breath strains in my lungs
I focus all of my thoughts
and stride and breath become one
standing tall, shoulders back
deep and full inhale
exhale hard, making room
for new air to fill my lungs
speed is not of any note
as I face a steep incline
distance is the measure
as I lean into the hill
at the precipice a sharp inhale
the path before me levels out
my steps propel me forward
and I find a steady stride



~to take it in stride~

practice daily, center yourself
 with intent and an earnest plan
read and pray and focus
and then open your eyes to see
train your body, train your mind
feed your spirit and your soul
relish the ache that you feel in both
as the dormant parts of you wake
open your eyes with possibility
this is the first time this moment has ever been
before the weight of the world descends
revel in the simple joys
sunrise, singing birds, the quiet of your mind
the simplicity of your soul
the moments before the world awakes
there is plenty of time each day
to feel what life will present
to find the appropriate reactions
and make the required change
but in the first moments of morning
in the first breaths you breathe
steel yourself with the strength
and the take the day in stride











Thursday, April 9, 2020

Seeking Normal



last night I was afraid of the dark

of the shadows across the hall

I lay in bed with covers pulled high

and waited for them to leave

I haven’t felt this in quite some time

but know what it all means

that I feel a sense of loneliness

that wants to consume me whole

I heard sounds that weren’t there

clicks and clacks in the night

and I couldn’t find the comfort

that usually rocks me to sleep

short and restless bouts

mixed with time spent too awake

and the night stretched on and on

until the final dream came

this one was chaotic

it was filled with panic and angst

with things that wouldn’t fit into boxes

and time kept slipping away

bad dreams and fear

tales that I know all too well

I’m trying hard to cling to things

that keep me tethered to the ground

nothing is normal anymore

nothing feels the same

time is stretching out endlessly

to days that never come

calendars flip of their own accord

and there is nothing to hold on to

the world is turning upside down

and the clock just ticks and ticks

I need some sort of resolution

something familiar to ground me again

out of sorts and feeling alone

and I’m afraid of the dark again

so I wake up today and make my bed

I can only control myself

my actions and my reactions

and everything else will be

one foot in front of the other

one step, one day at a time

and I pray for the strength to see

and maybe I’ll sleep with the light on tonight