Wholly Loved

the moment you finally realize

that you deserve as much as you give

 

the patterns fall into shape

like puzzle pieces

forming connecting lines

above your head

I see tears and cuts and scrapes and scars

I see rivulets of blood

I see thousands of unanswered questions

nights lying awake in the dark

I see wishes wished, dreams dreamt

I see promises made in vain

I see the terror of being left alone

and the sacrifices made

I see a lonely little girl

who tells herself stories of fairy tales

and a woman who simply can’t understand

that dreams don’t always come true

I see a woman who crawled to the edge of her hell

and walked out on the other side

who can still so easily forget

what it is that keeps her alive

I see her blindly protecting

the heart of the little girl

the one that never stops wishing

to one day be wholly loved

today I remembered that half of nothing

leaves you nothing at all

and giving away the pieces of me

allows me to disappear

like a ghost I’ve hovered on the edges

of a story that may never be told

watching from the shadows

waiting to be written in

like a thief in the night I covet

what never belonged to me

with poison on my tongue

speaking other’s names

it’s better to live alone

than in the loneliness of a lie

I whisper the words to myself

that I deserve to be wholly loved