Note to myself

And now the challenges truly begin

where will your resolve leave you standing?

This is your life, these are the cards you were dealt

you simply cannot ask for another hand.

None of this resembles anything you dreamed of

this isn’t the life you worked so hard to build.

It’s gone and all that’s left is you in this quiet

with nothing and no one you are standing on your own.

I know your heart is still so small and broken,

I know each day how much it takes just to get up.

I know the end of the day is even harder

the nights when the terror leaves you lying awake.

I know you still cry every single day

for hurts unhealed and scars that will never fade.

I know that sometimes it is so hard just to breathe

I know you are fighting even if no one else does.

I’m proud of you and I think you need to hear it

I think you are doing amazing and wonderful things.

 I am proud of you for every choice you make

and that the reasons you make them are solely for yourself.

You could have done this many different ways

and it’s ok, I know there have been days.

When the dangerous roads were the simplest ones to walk down

and the shortcuts were the easiest ones to take.

No one wants to have to do the work

day in day out when it’s really all you have.

I know you’d rather curl up into a ball

and disappear into the places you love to hide.

But once again, you’ve stood up against those fears

against the things that have tried to drag you down.

You are standing taller, getting stronger, trying to become

the person that you always wanted to be.

A piece of the broken heart will always be there

and maybe that is just a very good thing.

It will serve to remind you and keep you safe

from those voices when they call to you again.